Following the Road Map

One

2010-10-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

my daughter recently turned one.

we had a party on sunday and on wednesday we took cupcakes to moms lunch.

it is slightly crazy when I think how different my life has become.

instead of going out for dinner and shopping for movies, I go out to play dates and shop for sippy cups.

I am constantly cleaning a never ending mess. some nights I clean and some I don't.

my laundry is as high as mount waddington.

I am still unpacking from my move - I moved at the end of june.

my sunglasses, camera, drink, wallet are constantly being taken from me by her...forcefully :)

and yet...

I love my days, long as they are. they start at 7 and end at 11 with a few wakings overnight.

its the "hi you' she greets apple (my cat) with every morning and all day :p

its the open mouth and sometimes head lean kisses with the 'ahh' sound.

its the cheering she does even when she hasn't done anything cheer worthy.

I think i do so well as a mom in our day to day because I used to nanny and its really not that different.

3 meals and 2 snacks a day

walks to the TDSB drop in, library, play dates, moms lunch and sometimes just walks.

I'm excited to see what the year will bring us :)

friends

2009-10-05T18:01:00.000-07:00

what is a friend?

From dictionary.com a friend is:

a person whom one knows well and is fond of; intimate associate; close acquaintance
a person on the same side in a struggle; one who is not an enemy or foe; ally
a supporter or sympathizer a friend of labor
something thought of as like a friend in being helpful, reliable, etc.
any member of the Society of Friends; Quaker

I have been thinking a lot about friends lately... who can have friends, is it awful if you don't have any, what makes a friend, how do you measure friendships etc

I am about to go through a major change in my life and through the process I'm learning who my friends are.

I'm learning who texts me to check in, who would do anything for me, who would drive 3 hours just to see me.

I'm learning that I have "fake" friends and I'm not even sure if "fake" is the right word. I have friends who I love and love to see but don't keep in contact with and if I only see them once a year its more than great. I also have "convenience" friends and by this I mean friends who I see when one or both of us need something from the other. Or "convenience" friends because we go to the same gym or work together or go to church together.

How do you make your "fake" or "convenience" friends friends??

In a few weeks I will be a mom and I know that most of my friends will not make the transition over and I'm not really sure how to feel about that or what to do... Is it okay to let them go? or Do I need to work harder? Is it two sided... Why am I the only friend concerned about losing the other?

and I'm still trying to figure out...What is the definition of friend?

PS the picture above is one of my favorites. She is one of my best friends and I am lucky to have her in my life.

my other family

2009-07-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we are lucky enough to have a bigger family then the one we are born too.

Don't get me wrong, I have a great family and now its even better as I can call Owen, Angus, Jennifer, Carsten and Popo my family too.

Jennifer was recently on CTV about her life with Owen.

below are the links for an article and TV clips:

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20090703/undiagnosed_090705/20090705?hub=Health

http://watch.ctv.ca/news/latest/mystery-disorder/#clip190430

http://watch.ctv.ca/news/latest/mystery-disorder/#clip190468

I hate blogging

2009-07-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong, I love to talk.

And we all know that I love drama and that I love to create it but I hate blogging about it!

I think it's the act of sitting and writing it all out that kills me the most.

When I put my life down in words, it seems very lame and depressing.

I am grateful for amazing people in my life that are a constant source of amazing friendship, I wouldn't know what to do without them.

It is my life and I don't seem to know what to do with it.

How to get from here to there...

2008-12-09T20:20:00.000-08:00

okay

This is something I have been pondering for awhile...

how to get from the person you are to the person you would like to be or think you are without getting lost and disconbobbled along the way...

So stay tuned as I shall post about it in the next day or two.

I am too tired to blog now nor do I want to blog about something shorter, this has been on my mind and needs to be written about...

BUT I did I promise J I would blog today so this is my weak stab at keeping that promise...

see you on thursday!

I can't stop talking about the "butter hugger"!!

2008-10-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

Hey!

While out at the Hospital for Sick Children J and I bought something called a butter hugger.

What is a butter hugger?

Thanks for asking!!! It is a device designed to help you butter your corn-on-the-cob with ease...no more wasted butter!! It has salt and pepper shakers built in! It is quite a cool thingy and bright yellow to boot! When you look at the picture the first shot shows you the S&P part of it, the second shot is the top view and the third photo shows you where to put your butter!

We were on our way to get money for parking when J spotted the tupperware kisok so we all stopped and looked... J was looking with purpose and O and I were just looking. While We were hanging out and J kept pointing out the different containers which were getting more exciting by the find, I spotted it. The butter hugger! It was quite captivating and so I pointed it out to J who also find it entertaining and picked one up.

I continued to talk about the butter hugger for awhile. I updated my facebook status about it. J and I were having talking about all the ways the butter hugger could be great. J was ready to check out and by this time I was convinced I needed a butter hugger too.

We got to the lady and she told us that one of our butter huggers was free!!! How exciting!!!

We got the free butter hugger beacause we could not stop talking about it and people were coming over and looking at them.

I made a spilt second decision and picked up the rest of them! There were only four so it wasn't that crazy.

Ever since then...I cannot stop talking about them! How great they are, why I need three, and how can I get the most out of my butter hugger.

I am so in love with my butter huggers that I am having corn-on-the-cob with thanksgiving dinner. People will be forced to say: "Pass the butter hugger please".

I'm so happy!! I think its sad that kitchen equipment makes me this happy.

AND just saying butter hugger makes me happy... I want to see if I can buy them in bulk to give away as gifts.

I am convinced that a butter hugger is something that everyone, everyone, everyone needs!!

I hope the tupperware lady has more next week!!! :)

summer

2008-09-12T19:12:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey,

It has been quite a while since my last post and so... here I am.

What did I do this summer???

I attend "Adventure Valley Day Camp" with O and facilitated a camp experience for him.

It was rough goings in the beginning but I reaped the rewards greatly by watching other campers become more comfortable with O over time and interacting with O without needing me there to bridge the "gap". O is deaf and uses sign language to communicate and also has the coolest wheelchair this side of Younge St.

It takes a lot of love to support O, and when you need energy to get through the day, it is hard to also make camp work for us. Often programs were not adjustable or not accessible (upstairs)

The more the staff of AV got to know me and I them, we were all better able to adjust and adapt whatever was needed to ensure that O and myself could join in.

I grew to enjoy my time at AV and am looking forward to next summer... I also met a boy. He is a blog post into himself.

I also went back to Camp Presqu'ile, the same camp I have been working for the previous 4 summers and that my ex-fiancee would also be at. It was an learning summer.

I learned that people change, ever changing. Because you knew someone once does mean you know them now, or even then.

I learned that while I love camp and am so thankful for the people I have met and the experiences I have had, it is possible to outgrow camp. Even though the idea is so scary...

The effort you put in is what you get. If you don't attempt to make friends, you won't.

I learned that its okay to let go when you have nothing else to hold on to...you will stand and continue to do so.

This blog exists for me to chat to you...I am not a writer and I thank you for reading anyway, the only two people that do... more later.

goodnight

leaving on a jet plane

2008-06-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

hey so it has been quite some time since I was here last and for that I am sorry.... I got quite busy!

Tomorrow my roommate and best friend will fly home to Winnipeg and it is overwhelmly sad...

She finishes my sentences and helps me look at situations in a clear light. We cook dinner together and have late night drinks together. We watched all four seasons of the L word together. She helped me through my problems with boys and showed me the light at the end of the tunnel.

She is crafty and smart. funny and a great dresser.A great listener with wise words of advice. An excellent photographer and the best friend I could ask for these last few months.

I am sad to see her go but also glad that she is going back to school and so so so so so so proud of her.

We threw a party on Saturday to wish her a fond farewell and our party had a great turnout. There was lots of booze and tons and I do mean tons of photo taking! We had a great night and M knew she was loved...

And because I am cheese... I shall post a few lines of a great song just for her! Love you M!!!!

(with a little bit of editing...)

All her bags are packed she's ready to go, She's standing there outside the door

She hates to wake me up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breaking its early morn'

The taxi's waiting He's blowing his horn

Already I'm so lonesome I could cry...

So I'll hug you and smile for you

I'll tell that I'll wait for you...

I'll hold you like I'll let you go....

Cuz' you're leaving on a jet plane

don't know when you'll be back again

oh babe I hate to see you go.....

(M when you read this I hope it makes you laugh...)

That's all I got for now! See you later folks!!!

x-rays

2008-05-20T15:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to day 7 of the coolest job. I support a boy with special needs and together we explore the city, meet new people and learn new things.
He teaches me so much, I am constantly learning new things. We shall call him O.

I met O and his mom J on the Danforth and found out that O had a doctors appt nearby. After the appt we all went for a x-ray across the way.

So we all troop in to the x-ray office and J and O head on their way with the tech. I get called 5 mins later. Long story short, Taking an x-ray was not as easy as it usually is. J and I had to support O as the tech make sure we were all in the right postion for the picture and no one could move. Needless to say it was quite a laugh...

O does not walk and cannot support himself, so to get a front x-ray of his chest J had to prop him up on her knee and I had to hold his arm out to the side and all three of us had to "hold still".
For the side shot J had to use her knee to support his body and head and I had to raise O's arms up and out of the way, making sure J and my arm's were not in the shot.

I giggled. alot.
Giggling is my defense mechanism when I don't know what to do.
If a situation is tense or unknown to me...I giggle. Its what I've done my whole life, in the most unfunny situations.

The whole time we are trying to make this work the tech is trying to get it done quick as if it would make it easier...it didn't. but she was quite nice

I know this is not as funny to you as it was to me...but I needed to blog about it....

my first blog...

2008-05-18T07:01:00.000-07:00

hey!

This is my very first blog and I am quite excited!
I am house sitting right now and it is awesome to have such a big house all to myself...

I miss my roomie though...LOTS!

If you can't party on 2-4 the next best way to celebrate is to have some "ME" time.
Last night I watched some Law & Order, drank some white wine and had a excellent bubble bath...something I have been missing since I moved.

After church I think I am going to BBQ and enjoy the deck!

see you tomorrow...